If you don’t have any shadows…

If you don’t have any shadows you’re not standing in the light!

The quote is inspired by Lady Gaga from her latest interview at Google.

I know very well, you have to love her or loath her. And I, personally have no judgement whether you chose the love or the loath, but I know 2 things: she has a fantastic voice – you can see it in her interviews where he sings only with a keyboard, no effects, and the other one is – she greatly inspires me with her attitude of life, lyrics and all the unbelievable success she earned (with her hard work and uniqueness, not with great PR, management and editing – and I am not saying that it’s wrong if you do it that way, just the way she seems to do it is a lot more appealing to me)

About the title again.. I was listening to that interview, and she was asked this question: what’s the best piece of advice you have ever gotten, and she came up with this shadow – light thing. It wasn’t her own stuff, I know, no need to tell, but I, myself, got it from her as a present for the “bad times”.

What are our shadows? We all have a few, no need to deny. And if you are saying that you have no secrets, you are an open book to everyone, you are not only lying to the ones you say it, you are lying to yourself. I know, I am doing – correction, o was doing – the same. And any silly it sounds, that Google interview with Lady Gaga made me realise that, and the session with the psychologist afterwards – which was an utter heap of bullshit in some senses, but of course that’s another story.

I have realised that I was, and I am still afraid of my own little shadows. What are my shadows? Not that I am not happy to share.. (another lie.. I am NOT happy to share YET)… but we all have to fight our own shadows, so me telling you mines wouldn’t be much use. Anyhow, I will try to give here a few guidelines I am thinking of at the moment in regards to the battle with shadows.

  1. Stand out in the feckin light. It is absolutely not gonna be looking for you in a dark room with no windows. So I went to look for a window… then a door… and now I am counting with finding the outside world and the eternal freedom in my mind which will make me accept and eventually take my shadows as part of my ego, ME.
  2. Notice your shadows. I am studying my shadows. Learning to live with them and learning to accept them, and I might as well shape them a little if I can.
  3. The fault, the guilt and their mates. Let’s say you made a big mistake in my life. Let’s say, you had lived in a certain way you shouldn’t have, you did something which hurt a lot of people. Or we can say that you “don’t fit in” for this or that reason, let it be your looks, your way of thinking, your sexual orientation (yes, very important still, although we are in the 21st century…). You can feel guilty, faulty, stupid, abnormal and so on and on for one or another reason. But tell me: why feel that way? If you made a mistake, you can correct them or at least learn to live with them and make the most out of it. What if you are ugly? There is no such thing as ugly!! Make the most out of it! I have seen absolutely unfortunate looking but impossibly successful people who changed their lives and their looks as well, so they can get the most out of it. Homosexual? Bisexual? Lesbian? Transgender? Honestly… Who gives a shit what do you do in your bedroom? Because I don’t. I care about what I do. :) And whoever actually makes a comment or does give a shit – if I may put it that way, you can diplomatically tell them to go and eff themselves, because that is none of their business.
    We all have to decide what is right and what is wrong for us. There are certain social rules everybody needs to follow more or less, to fit in, but you can’t change who you are and you can’t change the way you think – you can edit it, shape it and think about it. It’s like writing. Unless you are like me, who gives a damn, and writes in her own way. :)
  4. Live your life as it comes with a good intention and right reasons, don’t think about what you might have done wrong, why did you do that wrong, what are your faults, mistakes, but rather work on how you can make it better, how you can make your mistakes wrong. Never forget, what is done, is done. Concentrate on the future and maximise your possibilities!

You can’t get the river to change direction – but you can always make another stream to the side (with a lot of digging – yes, hard work), to get the water a bit cleaner and a bit calmer, and when you are done with the process, you can go and join the main stream again with refreshed knowledge and attitude. Hope you understand what I wanted to express here. After all, every river runs to the ocean and sea..

So that’s really it. Live with your shadows and believe me, the light will be much better for you!


  1. Dakota Meeks says:

    I love this quote so much. I am using it in a salutatorian speech for my high school graduation.

  2. Actually this quote is very old.

    • Marianna says:

      Actually you still went on to search for it, didn’t you… :)

      And I am young enough to take your comment as a compliment… :D