So here comes the story…

Once I was a normal girl. Tall, good figure, normal boobs, flat abs, no big thighs or bum or nothing out of the ordinary, unless you want to count my extremely broad shoulders, which makes it very hard to buy a decent coat or jacket. At this point I must mention as well, that my two favorite body parts are my shoulders and my back. (God, I find them stunning – don’t laugh, it’s called healthy self confidence in my dictionary)

So anyway. Years passed, I got married and had my first child. For my healthy 70 kilos and 182cms I was in my perfect BMI and look and feel good state. What happened after was, that I got pregnant and started eating.  A LOT.  Put on probably 40 kilos so if you have basic math skills or a calculator that will make out 110 kilos for the end of the pregnancy. The doctor didn’t even ask me to stand on the scale for the last few check ups, since it was useless. I simply had to eat.

Long story cut short, I had my beautiful Daniel in January, and by November the same year I was 68 kilos. That means that I lost around 42 kilos in 10 months.

I was in around this weight, the perfect was 70-72 kilos until I got pregnant with Sara. I gained the same 40 kilos.

The issue here is, that she is 17 months old and I am still 80 kilos. It must be the age but I can’t seem to getReid of that silly ten kilos.

My grand plan is that I lose the weight the exact same way I did with Dani. It’s not the first 20 which is hard to lose. It’s the last few….

Decision time: I AM GOING TO LOSE 10 KILOS BY THE FIRST OF MARCH.

And since it’s very late now and I need to work tomorrow, I’m gonna tell you how in my next post…

Today’s weight was 79.9 kilos in the morning.

Xx

Enjoj and learn from it!

Once upon a time, there lived a husband and wife in a far away country. Every morning, the husband would wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and sit on a bench outside his house. Then he would watch the world go by all day long.

Meanwhile, his wife would wake up, fetch water, chop wood, light the fire, cook breakfast, sweep the floor, and wash their clothes. As you can imagine, the two quarreled constantly about this.
“Why do you sit there like a bump on a log doing nothing?” the wife would ask.
The husband would say, “I am thinking deep thoughts.
“As deep as a pig’s tail is long!” she would cry out.

The two would argue back and forth. One day, their calf broke out of the barn as the husband was sitting on the bench and the wife was rushing around doing chores. The wife turned to the husband and asked, “Why don’t you water the calf? You should at least do that. That’s man’s work.”

The husband replied, “I inherited a flock of sheep from my father. A shepherd takes care of them and gives us cheese, milk, and wool. That’s enough for us to live on. So that’s enough work for me. Besides, the ancient prophets say that when a man speaks, a woman should obey. I say you should take care of the calf.”

“A woman will obey when a real man speaks,” she exclaimed. “Not donkey droppings like you.”
They argued all morning and all afternoon. Then they both had the same idea. They turned to each other and said, “I know. The first one who speaks will have to take care of the calf from now on.” They nodded in agreement and went to bed without speaking.

“I’m too smart for her tricks.”
The next morning, the husband woke up. He went out and sat on his bench as usual. His wife arose, chopped wood, lit the fire, and washed the clothes. She realized that if she stayed home any longer, watching her husband doing nothing, she would have to speak. So she quickly finished all her chores, put on her veil, and went to visit a friend.
“This is strange,” the husband thought to himself. “My wife never leaves home this early. She must be up to something.”
A little later, a beggar came by, saw the husband, and asked for food and money. The husband was about to say something when he caught himself. “Ah, ha,” he thought, “my wife has sent this man to make me talk. But I’m too smart for her tricks. No matter what happens, I won’t speak.”
The beggar asked several times, then decided that the man must be a deaf-mute. He went into the house and saw that is was full of cheese and bread. He ate everything and left. The husband was furious but would not allow himself to say a word.
While he was fuming, a barber came by and offered to trim his beard. The husband was about to say yes when he caught himself. “My wife is trying another trick,” he thought. “but if heaven should fall to earth, I will not speak.”
The barber asked again, then decided that the man must be a deaf-mute. But because the husband’s beard really did need trimming, the barber went ahead and trimmed his beard. Then the barber motioned for money. The husband was silent. The barber became angry and said, “If you don’t pay me, I’ll shave off your beard and cut your hair so you look like a woman.” The husband still did not speak or offer money. So the barber shaved off the husband’s beard and cut his hair like a woman’s. Then he left in a huff.

The husband was furious. He thought about all the different ways he would punish his wife. He vowed that he was going to win their bet no matter what.
A little while later, an old woman came up, selling cosmetics and beauty treatments. She was nearsighted and mistook the husband for a woman. So she hurried up and said, “Dear lady, what are you doing sitting outside without a veil? Have you no father or husband to take care of you?” The husband thought his wife must be very desperate to try all these tricks.

The old woman repeated her question, then decided that the woman must be a deaf-mute. “My goodness, how sad,” she thought. “A deaf-mute and so ugly, too. Well, at least I know how to make women beautiful.” She took out rouge, lipstick, and powder and put it on the husband’s face. Then she motioned for money. But the husband still refused to say anything. So the old woman reached into his pockets, took all the money he had, and left.

While the husband was sitting there, thinking of how he would punish his wife for these tricks, a thief came by. He thought it strange that a young woman should be sitting in public without a veil, especially an ugly woman. So he went to her and said, “Dear lady, what are you doing sitting out here without a veil? Have you no father or husband to take care of you?

The husband refused to answer. “My wife still won’t give up!” the thought. So the thief decided that the woman must be a deaf-mute. He went into the house and saw that it was full of costly carpets, vases, and clothes. He packed everything he could into a bag and left, waving to the husband.

The husband almost rolled over with laughter, thinking of how desperate his wife must be to win the wager. “No matter what my wife does,” he thought, “I will not lose this bet.”

By then it was midday. The poor calf had not had any food or water. So it broke out of the barn and ran around the village square, making a ruckus. The wife heard the noise from their friend’s and came running to see what was the matter. “How did the calf break loose?” she wondered. “My husband must be up to something.”

She grabbed the calf and went back to her home, but stopped at the sight of a strange woman sitting in front of her house. “I’ve been gone only a few hours,” she thought, “and my husband takes another wife!”

She went up to the husband and said, “Who are you, you shameless woman sitting in front of my house?” The husband sprang up and said, “Ha, you spoke first. You have to take care of the calf from now on.”

The wife exclaimed, “You shaved off your beard and put on makeup just to win our wager?”
The husband replied, “I did no such thing. It was all those people you hired to get me to talk.” “What are you taking about?” the wife said. “I did no such thing.” She stormed into the house. A minute later she stormed out. “Where are all our belongings?”

The husband explained that the man she hired to act as a thief had stolen everything. “What are you taking about?” she demanded.

The husband said, “You cannot fool me. You lost the wager, so you have to take care of the calf from now on.”

The wife cried out, “Foolish man! You lost your face and your fortune, all for the sake of a wager. I will take care of the calf from now on because I am leaving you and taking the calf with me. I do not want a husband as dumb and stubborn as you.” With that she walked off with the calf.
“Something must have happened.”

She went to the village square and asked the children there if they had seen a man carrying a large bag. The children pointed to the desert. There in the distance, she saw a man hurrying away, a big sack on his back.

The wife pulled her veil tight and went after the man, pulling her calf behind her. While she walked, she came up with a plan.
When she caught up with the thief at an oasis, she sat a little ways away from him, sighed, and batted her eyelashes. The thief, who was not married, was flattered that an attractive woman would pay attention to him.

He said, “Dear lady, what are you doing in the middle of the desert with only a calf? Have you no father or husband to take care of you?” She said, “If I did, would I be in the middle of the desert with only my calf?”

The two of them started walking together and talking. The thief thought, “She seems like a strong, resourceful person. I should marry her.” So he proposed to her. The wife said, “If we get married, how will you support us?”

The thief explained, “In this bag I have enough loot to last us a long while.”The wife said, “Let me see.”
The thief replied, “No, you have to wait until we are married.”

The two agreed to stop at the next village and have the chief marry them. The wife knew, however, that it was too late in the day to have a wedding. When they arrived at the village, the chief said as much. “Certainly,” the chief told them, “I can marry you tomorrow. It’s too late today for a wedding. You can stay in my house until tomorrow.”

He put them up, the wife in one room and the thief in another. That night, the wife waited until everyone was asleep. Then she crept into the thief’s room, peeked into his bag, and found everything she owned–carpets, clothes, vases, and money. She closed the bag, loaded it quietly on her calf, and was about to walk away from the house when she stopped. She went to the kitchen, mixed flour and water together, and cooked the paste over a candle. She poured the dough into the thief’s shoes and into the shoes of the village chief. Then she left with her calf.
The next morning, the thief woke up to find that his bag and his bride-to-be were both gone. In the distance, he could see his fiancée hurrying away with his loot loaded on her calf. He ran to fetch his shoes but could not put them on because the dough had hardened like rock. So he grabbed the chief’s shoes, but they were also ruined. Finally, he ran outside barefoot. By then, the sun had risen, and the desert sand was burning hot. In just a few steps, the thief’s feet were burned and blistered. He had to give up the chase.

The woman started back to her village, and while she was walking she thought about her husband. When she returned to her house, her husband’s bench was empty. “Something must have happened,” she thought. She rushed into the house, but nobody was there. Yet the wood had been chopped, the fire was going, and something was cooking on the stove.

She found her husband in the courtyard hanging the laundry. When the two of them saw each other, they ran together and embraced. The husband confessed, “While you were gone, I realized how foolish and stubborn I was. I lost my face, my fortune, and my wife!”
The woman said, “I realized how nagging I was and how awful I was to be around.” The two of them came to an agreement. From then on, every day, they both woke up early and worked hard all day. Then, when evening came, they sat on the bench together, thinking deep thoughts.

Being 1.81 meters or shall we say 5’11″ it has been sort of bothering me for a long long time.
How is it to be the tallest girl (and sometimes taller then boys too) in the whole class from elementary school? NOT GOOD.

I was always the tallest, I was always the one who had to stand at school photos at the back or sitting down somewhere in the middle, I was always the one to get the biggest shoes (size 7 or so), I was always the one who had to go around the shops ages to find jeans with the longest legs, or look for trousers which had the extra fabric to make it work for me. Formal jackets, blouses, shirts were always with way too short sleeves. Shall I continue?

Have you ever felt like you should not wear high heels because you will stand out too much and people will make fun of you?
Have you ever looked at a REALLY beautiful pair and think like “shit… why do I have to be so damn tall?!”…
Have you ever thought about that cute guy in the class you just can’t go out with because it would look ridiculous?

HA!! I have the answers for you!

1. Ashamed. Don’t be ashamed of your height. It’s how you were made, it’s how you have to live your life. You can get bigger breasts, smaller breasts, you can do liposuction or a whole lot of things, but height is something you can’t change on, so you better accept it. Look at the supermodels (this is the least favourite example of mine, because who gives a crap? They are famous, they are not realREAL everyday people with everyday lives), they are 6′ and they wear whatever comes to their mind.

2. Weight. Try not to carry around extra weight, be the best weight you can ever be, don’t let love handles and bulging fat show, if you do have all that, I would say: stay away from heels unless you want to look like a whale in heels, but this is only my personal opinion. Also if you are too thin, you will end up looking like a spaghetti, which is no better then a whale in heels.

3. Boyfriends. Don’t mind if your boyfriend is shorter then you! If he likes you, he won’t mind it either. Of course, if not necessary (for your own self), try to look the shortest without stooping, because that seems like trying too hard (isn’t it really trying too hard?) and being ashamed of your height. As a latest example I saw a really tall girl at a party a couple of weeks ago, she must had been a basketball player, and was around 6’2″ or so. And her boyfriend was 5’9″ the maximum. They looked very different in height and the girl was wearing flip flops. But the best thing about it was, that the guy didn’t care. He just simply loved her and wasn’t ashamed to show it! :)

4. Compromise. You don’t want to look ridiculous. Chose one of the following, but don’t get everything at the same time, because it might look good on someone who is 5’2″ to make them stand out of the ground, but you wouldn’t want to chassé around with 6 inch heels, 12 inch tall hair, turtleneck and belt size miniskirt.
Get a fab pair of heels, and that is it. Get a taller hairdo, but not the rest. Choose accordingly.

5. Sex. We all love it. So why not make it better? High heels train your pelvic floor muscles, so go on with it!

6. Sexiness. Heels look sexy. They make your legs and ankles look slimmer, longer, if you dress well, you can have your legs look never ending, so why not play with it and make the most out of your sexy looks. :)

7. Learn to walk. If your walk is clumsy, you will look miserable, no matter what shoes or clothes you wear. But imagine your bad walk with heels which is hard to walk in for starters gracefully enough even if your posture is flawless. I see lots of average height girls with bad walk in high heels. I see them stepping to the inside of their legs, leaving their knees bent, heels moving backwards at every step, digging the shoe into the ground at every step and I could just continue… No! Learn to walk and those few inches won’t do much of a difference anyway.

So on the grounds above, I will put my leggings on and my high heeled Scholl sandals and chassé my way to do some lovely shopping! Have all the heads turn after me, be proud of my weight loss (bear in mind I just had a baby a few months ago) and hold my head high up because I am tall and beautiful!!! :))))

If you don’t have any shadows you’re not standing in the light!

The quote is inspired by Lady Gaga from her latest interview at Google.

I know very well, you have to love her or loath her. And I, personally have no judgement whether you chose the love or the loath, but I know 2 things: she has a fantastic voice – you can see it in her interviews where he sings only with a keyboard, no effects, and the other one is – she greatly inspires me with her attitude of life, lyrics and all the unbelievable success she earned (with her hard work and uniqueness, not with great PR, management and editing – and I am not saying that it’s wrong if you do it that way, just the way she seems to do it is a lot more appealing to me)

About the title again.. I was listening to that interview, and she was asked this question: what’s the best piece of advice you have ever gotten, and she came up with this shadow – light thing. It wasn’t her own stuff, I know, no need to tell, but I, myself, got it from her as a present for the “bad times”.

What are our shadows? We all have a few, no need to deny. And if you are saying that you have no secrets, you are an open book to everyone, you are not only lying to the ones you say it, you are lying to yourself. I know, I am doing – correction, o was doing – the same. And any silly it sounds, that Google interview with Lady Gaga made me realise that, and the session with the psychologist afterwards – which was an utter heap of bullshit in some senses, but of course that’s another story.

I have realised that I was, and I am still afraid of my own little shadows. What are my shadows? Not that I am not happy to share.. (another lie.. I am NOT happy to share YET)… but we all have to fight our own shadows, so me telling you mines wouldn’t be much use. Anyhow, I will try to give here a few guidelines I am thinking of at the moment in regards to the battle with shadows.

1. Stand out in the feckin light. It is absolutely not gonna be looking for you in a dark room with no windows. So I went to look for a window… then a door… and now I am counting with finding the outside world and the eternal freedom in my mind which will make me accept and eventually take my shadows as part of my ego, ME.
2. Notice your shadows. I am studying my shadows. Learning to live with them and learning to accept them, and I might as well shape them a little if I can.
3. The fault, the guilt and their mates. Let’s say you made a big mistake in my life. Let’s say, you had lived in a certain way you shouldn’t have, you did something which hurt a lot of people. Or we can say that you “don’t fit in” for this or that reason, let it be your looks, your way of thinking, your sexual orientation (yes, very important still, although we are in the 21st century…). You can feel guilty, faulty, stupid, abnormal and so on and on for one or another reason. But tell me: why feel that way? If you made a mistake, you can correct them or at least learn to live with them and make the most out of it. What if you are ugly? There is no such thing as ugly!! Make the most out of it! I have seen absolutely unfortunate looking but impossibly successful people who changed their lives and their looks as well, so they can get the most out of it. Homosexual? Bisexual? Lesbian? Transgender? Honestly… Who gives a shit what do you do in your bedroom? Because I don’t. I care about what I do. :) And whoever actually makes a comment or does give a shit – if I may put it that way, you can diplomatically tell them to go and eff themselves, because that is none of their business.
   We all have to decide what is right and what is wrong for us. There are certain social rules everybody needs to follow more or less, to fit in, but you can’t change who you are and you can’t change the way you think – you can edit it, shape it and think about it. It’s like writing. Unless you are like me, who gives a damn, and writes in her own way. :)
4. Live your life as it comes with a good intention and right reasons, don’t think about what you might have done wrong, why did you do that wrong, what are your faults, mistakes, but rather work on how you can make it better, how you can make your mistakes wrong. Never forget, what is done, is done. Concentrate on the future and maximise your possibilities!

You can’t get the river to change direction – but you can always make another stream to the side (with a lot of digging – yes, hard work), to get the water a bit cleaner and a bit calmer, and when you are done with the process, you can go and join the main stream again with refreshed knowledge and attitude. Hope you understand what I wanted to express here. After all, every river runs to the ocean and sea..

So that’s really it. Live with your shadows and believe me, the light will be much better for you!

Now let’s see how much is true from all the tales:

(this is my favourite) Dark chocolate is better for you then milk chocolate: NO! The kcals are nearly the same. From here on it depends on you. If you want to consume more fat, chose the dark chocolate, if you prefer more sugar, get the milk chocolate. The milk chocolate also has calcium – after all, it’s called “milk” chocolate…

Too much chocolate will cause you migrene: Yes, if you can eat a truckload of it, literally, because of the fenetil-amin and tiramin.

Calories vs Darkness: people say that “the good chocolate has a lot of cocoa. Depends on what angle are you looking at it. More expensive if it’s darker because of the amount of cocoa, but at the same time, the darker it is, the more fat it has. (to keep it together :) ) If it has less cocoa, it will be sweeter. (I personally opt for sweetness) Sometimes people confuse quality with price… (dark choc – expensive – must be excellent: NO!!)

Chocolate troubles digestion and ruins your liver: oh my. What a lie. Everything causes digestive problems if you eat too much of it. In reality, chocolate only stays in your stomach for 1 hour, so there is no way that it’s troubling your stomach. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the liver whatsoever.

Chocolate makes you fat: no. SOME chocolate won’t make you fat. Lots of chocolate and lots of food will. Don’t blame sweeties only.

Eating chocolate will protect your heart and circulation: Besides sugar and fat, chocolate has more ingredients as well, such as lots of antioxidants which protects you – like tannin, vitamin E, beta-carotene. Also you can find Kalium in chocolate which has blood pressure lowering effect and at last the healthy amount of chocolate could even lower your colesterol.

Chocolate has low GI index: absolutely true.

So go ahead and eat a healthy amount of chocolate when you feel like, it not only will make you happy, but contribute to your overall health.