If you don’t have any shadows you’re not standing in the light!

The quote is inspired by Lady Gaga from her latest interview at Google.

I know very well, you have to love her or loath her. And I, personally have no judgement whether you chose the love or the loath, but I know 2 things: she has a fantastic voice – you can see it in her interviews where he sings only with a keyboard, no effects, and the other one is – she greatly inspires me with her attitude of life, lyrics and all the unbelievable success she earned (with her hard work and uniqueness, not with great PR, management and editing – and I am not saying that it’s wrong if you do it that way, just the way she seems to do it is a lot more appealing to me)

About the title again.. I was listening to that interview, and she was asked this question: what’s the best piece of advice you have ever gotten, and she came up with this shadow – light thing. It wasn’t her own stuff, I know, no need to tell, but I, myself, got it from her as a present for the “bad times”.

What are our shadows? We all have a few, no need to deny. And if you are saying that you have no secrets, you are an open book to everyone, you are not only lying to the ones you say it, you are lying to yourself. I know, I am doing – correction, o was doing – the same. And any silly it sounds, that Google interview with Lady Gaga made me realise that, and the session with the psychologist afterwards – which was an utter heap of bullshit in some senses, but of course that’s another story.

I have realised that I was, and I am still afraid of my own little shadows. What are my shadows? Not that I am not happy to share.. (another lie.. I am NOT happy to share YET)… but we all have to fight our own shadows, so me telling you mines wouldn’t be much use. Anyhow, I will try to give here a few guidelines I am thinking of at the moment in regards to the battle with shadows.

1. Stand out in the feckin light. It is absolutely not gonna be looking for you in a dark room with no windows. So I went to look for a window… then a door… and now I am counting with finding the outside world and the eternal freedom in my mind which will make me accept and eventually take my shadows as part of my ego, ME.
2. Notice your shadows. I am studying my shadows. Learning to live with them and learning to accept them, and I might as well shape them a little if I can.
3. The fault, the guilt and their mates. Let’s say you made a big mistake in my life. Let’s say, you had lived in a certain way you shouldn’t have, you did something which hurt a lot of people. Or we can say that you “don’t fit in” for this or that reason, let it be your looks, your way of thinking, your sexual orientation (yes, very important still, although we are in the 21st century…). You can feel guilty, faulty, stupid, abnormal and so on and on for one or another reason. But tell me: why feel that way? If you made a mistake, you can correct them or at least learn to live with them and make the most out of it. What if you are ugly? There is no such thing as ugly!! Make the most out of it! I have seen absolutely unfortunate looking but impossibly successful people who changed their lives and their looks as well, so they can get the most out of it. Homosexual? Bisexual? Lesbian? Transgender? Honestly… Who gives a shit what do you do in your bedroom? Because I don’t. I care about what I do. :) And whoever actually makes a comment or does give a shit – if I may put it that way, you can diplomatically tell them to go and eff themselves, because that is none of their business.
   We all have to decide what is right and what is wrong for us. There are certain social rules everybody needs to follow more or less, to fit in, but you can’t change who you are and you can’t change the way you think – you can edit it, shape it and think about it. It’s like writing. Unless you are like me, who gives a damn, and writes in her own way. :)
4. Live your life as it comes with a good intention and right reasons, don’t think about what you might have done wrong, why did you do that wrong, what are your faults, mistakes, but rather work on how you can make it better, how you can make your mistakes wrong. Never forget, what is done, is done. Concentrate on the future and maximise your possibilities!

You can’t get the river to change direction – but you can always make another stream to the side (with a lot of digging – yes, hard work), to get the water a bit cleaner and a bit calmer, and when you are done with the process, you can go and join the main stream again with refreshed knowledge and attitude. Hope you understand what I wanted to express here. After all, every river runs to the ocean and sea..

So that’s really it. Live with your shadows and believe me, the light will be much better for you!

“Today is another long day, my baby burped on my new top, I didn’t have time to wash my hair and hubby will have to grab a pizza coz I had no time to cook with the baby.” – yeah whatever clean it up woman. Yourself and the burp too.

“Ahh my little blablabla passed gas and it was sooo funny. Come and see the video! It’s with sound!” – yippeee, THE thing I wanted to hear now. A fart of your baby.

“My little blablabla just turned to his belly, all by himself, come on world, let’s celebrate!” – and all the other millions of mothers whose baby turned around that day and they didn’t feel necessary to blog about it?

I mean why on earth would anyone want to read about someone else’s child, unless it’s their relative?

What’s even more disturbing is, that I try to read about cool stuff for grown ups, like real psycho(logical) things and hang around on the forum getting ideas, checking out fancy nicey blingy things and I seem to get to the babyblogs. No matter what I do. They are so all over the place.

I will try something soon. I will start reading about sex, proper, adult, before-baby sex, which wasn’t intended to create a baby just yet, and I will see when I get to a babyblog – won’t take long, I promise. :)

I have a son and I’m expecting a baby at the moment and I love them and my family to bits. But I promise you that I will not go on and on about my new baby’s burping or nappy rash. I will only talk about him/her if she/he is having some fantastic adventures which you will all have to know about.

I saw people worn out from working, rushing, worrying.

I saw the weight of having to be a human in a civilized country.

I saw the teenagers going home from study, the office workers rushing to get the train, the businesswoman thinking of the business (AND picking her nose dressed in the little elegant suit – honestly, I’m not kidding). The young adults looking for “shelter” in the pubs, really only just looking for a good time to forget that from 9 – 5.30 it is the real world. Real World.

How cruel is this RW to us? The answer is: as cruel as we make it to be.

After all who is responsible for everything happening at the moment? It is us.

We caused the global warming – I know you know, that is just the easiest example. But there are numerous other factors which made the world just as much better as much worse. I’m thinking of the money, the greed, the oil, the killing of people and animals, the wars, all the useless stuff which I have no patience to think about.

This is really out of our hands sisters and brothers (bua – ha – ha – ha -this was my mad non-scientist or preacher laugh)!!

Are you happy to live your life in a “mill-wheel” ?(I hope you understand this expression, this is supposed to describe the repetitiveness and boredom).

Do you want to change? How? When and what?

There is no answer in this post to anything. It’s only a fraction of my thoughts from today, a very tiny fraction. The line of thoughts from today unfortunately suffered a severe damage by being interrupted with the RW.

The Real World.

That feckin Real World.

Her voice with her looks and her musical style really make a great impact.

Hope she is going to be as great as she deserves to be.

“…From an early age it was clear which direction she would take. OCEANA’s whirlwind path could not be stopped. Her mother started taking her to concerts as a young child. She saw big name artists including Ziggy Marley, Burning Spear, James Brown and she felt drawn to the stage, where she wanted to sing and dance. She took ballet lessons, danced through studios and at the age of five she was given a part in a film directed by Hamburg’s Lars Becker. As a teenager she won a music scholarship and had her first singing lesson with the Italian vocalist Etta Scollo. Significant musical influence was given by the family’s record collection of artists like Billie Holiday and Etta James. Her initial and enduring experiences with jazz, funk and blues where taken with a family friend – legendary musician Maceo Parker. It was him who often asked OCEANA up on stage at his concerts and who got the ball of her musical career rolling with the sentence “You’re ready now; do your own thing!”……..”

You can read the rest on her myspace on http://www.myspace.com/oceanaofficial

(I really hope this doesn’t go against any legal stuff that I put here her video.. if so, please let me know and I remove it immediately.)

The topic came up over the weekend when we decided to go and see some gorgeous houses where I wouldn’t have to smell the farts of my neighbour and my children would have space – more then 20 square meters – to run around in the garden, God help me, I could even get a trampoline what I have always wanted, khm… what I have always wanted for my son… :)

So, back to the question about how to chose the ideal home.

This is from the famous series “Little House on the Prairie” and it’s only for decorative purposes, i do not advise anyone to have to be squeezed into a tiny house

Decide on the size and the attributes of the house

Unless you have heaps of money to spend on moving and buying houses every 10 years, chose the size and chose it carefully. How many bedrooms do you want, open living area, how many bathrooms, garden size, town house, detached, semi-detached, bungalow etc..

Decide on the locality, how long do you mind travelling

Is 1 hour or more a lot for you to travel to work every day? Would you want less? What kind of neighbours do you want to have? Do you want to be able to go to the shopping centre every day? Do you need urbanised localities to make you happy? (e.g. shops, pubs, bars, shops, shops and shops)

Let’s see in my case: I want to have a detached house out in the country with 4-5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, I want to have a conservatory and a room only for my piano, I want the house to be in the middle of a field, and I don’t want to be able to hear the neighbour arguing with the wife over the dinner. I want to have wooden flooring all over the house and tiles in the kitchen. Heating should be oil or gas, cooking should work on gas too. I want to be able to commute by train wherever I need to and the train station should only be a short stroll or drive away.

Summarizing it… Are you the urban girl who needs everything at her doorstep or are at that stage that you don’t feel you have to rush things, you would like to settle and have peace and quiet?

Anyhow it is, write a list of what you want and whenever you go house-hunting, tick the list, and don’t compromise on what you have decided, unless you are absolutely sure you can live with that.